This Sporting Weekend

Where to begin? Ah, with United. What an incredibly subpar performance. It happens from time to time, but again, the culprit in my eyes is Ben "Jell-O Mould" Foster. He is incredibly shaky between the posts and I think his time is almost up.

Old SAF lashed out after the match but he chose the wrong target. Contrary to SAF's suggestion, United's performance had nothing to do with the fitness of the ref. It may have something to do with his insistence on starting Scholes and Nani and not letting Anderson develop. The midfield has been mostly underwhelming this year. It's looking like Fletcher and Anderson should be the only midfielders guaranteed a start.

Roma Resurgent!

Francesco Totti, seemingly back in peak form, led Roma to victory against Napoli. Is there a more underrated player in Italy than Totti? I'm starting to believe him when he says that he gets no love from the media because he is a southern Italian. The guy is best Italian-born player in the world, in my opinion. Anyway, Roma is now incredibly only 5 points out of the top spot.

October In New York

It's good to have it back! Hoping the Yankees get the Twins and not the Tigers. Yesterday was notable for the appearance of George himself! The Big Stein dropped in on the team and watched the game. I hate to sound like a dick here but isn't he becoming slightly Kim Jong-Ilish? The increasingly reclusive leader of an evil empire, he almost never appears in public anymore and when he does he looks like he's struggling under the weight of novelty sized sunglasses. It seems to me, and all sorts of reports abound to confirm, that the guy is sick. I wonder why anybody feels the need to expose his condition to the public.

Killjoy Watch

What kind of society is this becoming? No smoking in your own apartment? It only takes a handful of killjoys to f*** everything up for the rest of us. I wish judges and juries were comprised entirely of guys like the cab driver from Old School.

Saturday Review

What's going on here in ESPN's broadcast of the Liverpool-Burnley match? Why this unbelievably gay policy of not showing any close-ups of the very yummy Georgie (Bada)Bingham but relentless tight shots of Robbie Mustoe? The camera will shoot from 30 feet away as Georgie asks a question, then zoom in for a nose hair count shot on Robbie when he answers. What is this, Bravo?

Jeter

He got the big hit last night. After the 2 minute delay in which all the Yankees came out to congratulate him and the fans applauded, the Orioles pitcher tried to pick Jeter off at first. Lots of boos in the Stadium but I think it was good baseball. You're there to win the game and Jeter was probably not 100% focused. He's probably got a lot on his mind these days.


Roma

I know it's too early in the season to get super concerned about this but Roma is at the bottom of the Serie A table, and they look like they belong there. Two or three years ago, only Arsenal was playing more beautiful football than Roma. Now it's all going to pot. They'll snap out of it and get back to respectability but those glory days appear to be kaput.

The Ginger Ninja Sees Red, Episode #5,237

Paul Scholes must be cursed like some figure from mythology. Though gifted with rarely encountered passing ability and vision, he has obviously offended a football deity who has subsequently punished Scholes by making him perhaps the worst tackler ever. He was sent off early in the second half today against Spurs after one of the most awkwardly hard to believe tackles you'll ever see. And of course, it was his second. Hey, at least it wasn't a handball this time.



The Rooney!

On fire today. Absolutely a team unto himself. Working alone up front, he ran enough to essentially negate United's being a man down. Sensational stuff, and I think we'll see what he's all about this year. He's never been allowed to be the tip of the spear before and now that he is watch out. Oh, and Anderson scored today. SAF has got to play this guy every match. He's got the potential to dominate the midfield for years to come.

Back From Hiatus

Hello folks. I've returned from having better things to do this summer. So much to catch up on. Where shall we begin?

Sad Goodbyes

Les Paul - We bid farewell to the great man. What praise can I offer that hasn't already been offered about this supremely influential guitar player/innovator? Here he is shredding it up from way back when.



World Soccer Daily - Feeling the sting from an advertiser boycott mounted by Liverpool fans upset by host Steven Cohen's comments regarding Hillsborough, and citing an increasing concern over the menacing nature of those who wanted his show off the air, Cohen abruptly pulled the plug on the show that was the single best source of soccer news and analysis in America. Friday, 8/21 was the last show. Pow! They sure showed him! And now the rest of us who realized that the show was actually one of the best things to ever happen to the sport in America are left with nothing to replace it. Love the show or hate it, we should all protect the hosts' right to freely express their opinions. Even if we disagree. It's about standing up for freedom of speech. Do it here - http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/support-world-soccer-daily-and-siriusxm.

Such A Determined Boy, He's Nearly Reached China!

Carlos Tevez, the Orc-ish Argentine who can't put the shovel down, continues to dig his hole straight through to the other side of the earth. Seldom, if ever, do you see a professional athlete of this caliber and income go on in such an unmanaged fashion. Somebody needs to tell this fellow that it's time to stop talking and time to start doing the business. On the pitch. If I were Mark Hughes, and my entire team was healthy, Tevez wouldn't start for me. Free advice for Carlos Tevez - shut up.

Speaking Of Orcs . . .

The Boy Rooney will have a huge year. 32 goals in all competitions if he stays healthy. That's my prediction. Also, Chelsea takes the Premier League (United second, Arsenal third, Liverpool fourth), City takes the Carling Cup and makes the Europa League, Liverpool takes the FA Cup, United come just short of the Champions League trophy (either Real or Barca take it), SAF retires at season's end, The Special One takes over ( ! ), Shrewsbury fail to get promoted to League 1 (and really, what a bunch of morons to have sold their best striker), Newcastle stay in the Chamionship, Tevez demands a transfer to Spain by season's end. Or, I'm completely wrong.

Summer Of Steaks

Has come to an abrupt halt, as we keep going to Ben & Jack's. What can I say, I'm lazy. Will resume soon hopefully.

Michael Jackson

He's dead. Have you heard? You probably missed that because these intercoursing news programs keep talking about unimportant things like the nuclear security crisis in Pakistan and the massive civil unrest in Xianjiang province, NW China, instead of talking about Jacko. Ridiculous.

Be back at you tomorrow, unless I take another month off.

This Sporting Weekend

Spotted last night sitting behind home plate at the Yankees-Mets game was NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg. Wearing a sweater over his shirt. It was hot as intercoursing hell last night and this guy is wearing a sweater. I suppose humorless automatons don't sweat but come on. Yet another reason to dislike the man.

The US lost a heartbreaker to Brazil yesterday in the Confederations Cup final. The tournament will be remembered not so much for the quality of play as it will be for the awful, hellish drone of the vuvuzella.

The cheap plastic horn that is intrinsic to South African football culture yet turns every match into 90 minutes of sonic agony. These things must - MUST - be banned before the World Cup comes to South Africa next year.

Carlos Tevez is almost certainly off to Manchester City or Chelsea, because he's offended that The Good Guys didn't start him every game. Ahh, such honesty from a player I used to really admire. So when he gets to Middle Eastlands or Stamford Bridge and finds himself waiting to start behind Robinho and Santa Cruz or Drogba and Anelka, will he try to bolt again? Or has this all been some very sad ploy for a payday? I think it's the latter. Really pathetic.

SAF must pry Ibrahimovic away from Inter.

Moments That Won't Be Repeated Next Year

After almost two years of "will he won't he" nonsense, Cristiano Ronaldo is packing up his diving board and moving it to Spain. That's a huge loss for us but £80 million is a lot of dough. I hope they spend it wisely, or on the club's massive debt.

And Tevez wasn't impressed when SAF called him personally and asked him to stay - he's likely off anyway.

Things are coming apart just a little bit at Old Trafford, aren't they?

Barcelona Gets The Win

Congratulations to them, they won. But I have to say I have never ever witnessed such a lifeless performance from United. Most notably, Rooney and Evra were no shows. And Fergie made some big mistakes. Anderson should have been used to batter Xavi and Iniesta (he was subbed), and Tevez should have started over Park, who had in my opinion a disastrous match. Giggs had no business being in the starting lineup. Credit where it's due, Ronaldo was a one man team for the first ten minutes or so and he nearly scored three or four times but can one guy beat a team like Barcelona on his own? We probably will find out next year when he joins Real Madrid and gets to play Barcelona at least two times.

You Stay Classy, Rafa

Much is made of the "mind games" Sir Alex Ferguson plays with his coaching rivals. Generally, I think this is poppycocks and the press make big stories out of nothing. But it seems this year we're seeing the real deal as he's really undone serial sore loser Rafa Benitez.

Clearly steamed after coming in second to SAF in their recent war of words (and the league), old Rafa now refuses to congratulate the United manager on winning the Premier League crown. Somehwere at Anfield there is a playpen with toys scattered on the floor around it.

And it seems the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Rafa's classiness must have inspired two of his players - Jamie Carragher and Alvaro Arbeloa - to practically come to blows during their match yesterday. A meaningless match, I might add.

Carragher pulls this quite a bit, doesn't he? Always getting into it with his teammates. People like to chalk it up to his competitiveness but I say that it has more to do with his being, just like United's own Gary Neville, an asshole.

This Sporting Weekend

That's certainly more like it United! The good guys thumped West Brom 4-0 on Saturday. Rooney is in supernatural form lately, and it looks like Berbatov might be finding his touch again too. Look out world if Sir Alex has a collectively in form four man front of Rooney, Tevez, Ronaldo, and Berbatov. It's going to be devastating.

Yesterday I had either the greatest fortune or most profound misfortune to have watched Tottenham take on Stoke. It was hard to take your eyes off the TV because it was such a bad match but it really was buckets of fun nonetheless. For instance, Stoke managed to hit two posts and a crossbar in a three second span. A missed penalty that dinged off of one post, dinged off the other - all while not crossing the goalmouth - to come back out into the box, where Rory Delap (he of the insane 40 yard throw ins)

missed an open net and hit the crossbar. OK, he had scored earlier in the match, but that was still a bad miss. This game had 11 minutes of injury time at the end. 11 minutes! Two red cards for Tottenham, who have gone into complete and utter freefall. They are making Everton and Newcastle look like Chelsea and Man Utd. The Tottenham players are saying they're behind their coach, and Berlitz school dropout, Juande Ramos. That's a sure sign he'll be gone shortly. Has there ever been a more talented team to perform so poorly?

Inter thrashed the bejunipers out of Roma yesterday. 4-0 but it wasn't even that close. Inter looks scary this season. So does Ezequiel Lavezzi of Napoli, who lead Napoli to a big win over Juventus. Juve coach Claudio Ranieri will probably be on the unemployment line with Juande Ramos by next week.