Monday, August 31, 2009

See, I Told You

"It is what it is", the verbal crutch for people whose athleticism has saved them from a life spent behind the counter at McDonald's, has invaded the business world and now ranks high on an Accountemps survey of overused phrases.

You get bombarded with this stuff when you work in advertising. Be it the 23 year old Assistant Media Buyer, who, like, is like, going to be your contact on this account*, or the 45 year old hipster doofus wearing those rectangular glasses who lists volunteering, yoga, and bicycling as his hobbies, they all spew this meaningless drivel with an equally unrelenting fury. Leverage this and facilitate that. Because speaking clearly and coherently, without relying on senseless catch-phrases, is too simple. Wasted words, people. Stop using them.

*Spoken in the sort of like, whatever? tone that has massively infected urban 20 something girls, and shamefully, many boys. This neo-Valley Girl speech pattern renders every declarative into a question. For instance:

Question - What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Answer morphing into question - I, like, had organic fruit salad and steel cut oatmeal?

Well, I don't know. Did you have steel cut oatmeal? Are you telling me or asking me? And why did you add "like"? Go away from me immediately.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Wenger Kicks The Bottle

The last dying seconds of injury time in yesterday's Good Guys vs Arsenal match were not kind to Old Wenger and his foreign legion. First, a last gasp game-tying goal was disallowed, and then Wenger was sent off. For kicking that bottle in the picture above. Now I get the goal being disallowed - it was a clear offsides - but Wenger was surely treated a bit harshly. There was an excellent camera shot of him, banished to the stands, with arms outstretched, stunned but defiant, with the Old Trafford faithful really giving him the business in the background. Arsenal looked like the better team for large chunks of play and despite having lost, they didn't particularly deserve the ending they got. And as it turns out, referees chief Kevin Hackett agrees. He will be formally apologizing to Wenger.

And another point reagrding yesterday's big match - SAF is getting a bit too sentimental with his lineup choices. Ryan Giggs starting up front? Against Arsenal? I get that Giggs is one of the all-time greats - without question - but he's getting a bit too long in the tooth for this sort of use. He looked completely useless in the first half. Granted, his ball to Rooney led to the penalty, but that penalty was won by Rooney's hustle more than anything else. And his free kick that led to the other goal was a fluke. How can you leave Berbatov, Owen, or even Macheda and Wellbeck on the bench and start Giggs in this sort of spot?

Friday, August 28, 2009

World Football Daily

World Soccer Daily may be dead, but World Football Daily has risen to take its place. Details here.

In Praise Of Wenger, And More

Hey, I'm certainly not a fan of Arsenal. But despite the as of late empty silverware shelves I think they have definitely got their poop in order, and that is directly attributable to Arsense Wenger. He's nearly the last good man left in soccer (calcio, futbol, etc). He develops talent (perhaps better than any other manager in the game) rather overpay for it, his teams play what is sometimes mesmerizing football, and his comments are almost always 100% correct. Here, he opens a can of le whoop ass on UEFA for penalizing Arsenal's Eduardo after his dive against Celtic in this week's Champions League clash.

Did Eduardo dive? Come on, of course he did. But Wenger makes a very valid point when he says:

"Normally a situation that has been assessed and judged by the referee cannot be touched again.

"So that means we have opened a door that means that every single decision that is seen by a referee can be changed. They have opened a very dangerous door there."

He may talk funny, but he's right. Are decisions made by referees now open to post match revision? Think of what that could mean. A very tricky species, indeed.

Hair Ye, Hair Ye

Louis "Unbreakable" Saha, displaying his new hair style. Look, the orange afro does not work for anybody not wearing clown makeup. Just look what it did to poor Wes Brown.

I thought the sight of Benny Hill sporting this bush whilst playing snooker would have acted as a sort of Scared Straight program for anybody bearing or considering the awful do.

But the damned thing keeps cropping up. Enough!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Back From Hiatus

Hello folks. I've returned from having better things to do this summer. So much to catch up on. Where shall we begin?

Sad Goodbyes

Les Paul - We bid farewell to the great man. What praise can I offer that hasn't already been offered about this supremely influential guitar player/innovator? Here he is shredding it up from way back when.

World Soccer Daily - Feeling the sting from an advertiser boycott mounted by Liverpool fans upset by host Steven Cohen's comments regarding Hillsborough, and citing an increasing concern over the menacing nature of those who wanted his show off the air, Cohen abruptly pulled the plug on the show that was the single best source of soccer news and analysis in America. Friday, 8/21 was the last show. Pow! They sure showed him! And now the rest of us who realized that the show was actually one of the best things to ever happen to the sport in America are left with nothing to replace it. Love the show or hate it, we should all protect the hosts' right to freely express their opinions. Even if we disagree. It's about standing up for freedom of speech. Do it here -

Such A Determined Boy, He's Nearly Reached China!

Carlos Tevez, the Orc-ish Argentine who can't put the shovel down, continues to dig his hole straight through to the other side of the earth. Seldom, if ever, do you see a professional athlete of this caliber and income go on in such an unmanaged fashion. Somebody needs to tell this fellow that it's time to stop talking and time to start doing the business. On the pitch. If I were Mark Hughes, and my entire team was healthy, Tevez wouldn't start for me. Free advice for Carlos Tevez - shut up.

Speaking Of Orcs . . .

The Boy Rooney will have a huge year. 32 goals in all competitions if he stays healthy. That's my prediction. Also, Chelsea takes the Premier League (United second, Arsenal third, Liverpool fourth), City takes the Carling Cup and makes the Europa League, Liverpool takes the FA Cup, United come just short of the Champions League trophy (either Real or Barca take it), SAF retires at season's end, The Special One takes over ( ! ), Shrewsbury fail to get promoted to League 1 (and really, what a bunch of morons to have sold their best striker), Newcastle stay in the Chamionship, Tevez demands a transfer to Spain by season's end. Or, I'm completely wrong.

Summer Of Steaks

Has come to an abrupt halt, as we keep going to Ben & Jack's. What can I say, I'm lazy. Will resume soon hopefully.

Michael Jackson

He's dead. Have you heard? You probably missed that because these intercoursing news programs keep talking about unimportant things like the nuclear security crisis in Pakistan and the massive civil unrest in Xianjiang province, NW China, instead of talking about Jacko. Ridiculous.

Be back at you tomorrow, unless I take another month off.