See, I Told You

"It is what it is", the verbal crutch for people whose athleticism has saved them from a life spent behind the counter at McDonald's, has invaded the business world and now ranks high on an Accountemps survey of overused phrases.

You get bombarded with this stuff when you work in advertising. Be it the 23 year old Assistant Media Buyer, who, like, is like, going to be your contact on this account*, or the 45 year old hipster doofus wearing those rectangular glasses who lists volunteering, yoga, and bicycling as his hobbies, they all spew this meaningless drivel with an equally unrelenting fury. Leverage this and facilitate that. Because speaking clearly and coherently, without relying on senseless catch-phrases, is too simple. Wasted words, people. Stop using them.

*Spoken in the sort of like, whatever? tone that has massively infected urban 20 something girls, and shamefully, many boys. This neo-Valley Girl speech pattern renders every declarative into a question. For instance:

Question - What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Answer morphing into question - I, like, had organic fruit salad and steel cut oatmeal?

Well, I don't know. Did you have steel cut oatmeal? Are you telling me or asking me? And why did you add "like"? Go away from me immediately.