Ba dump dump.
So Stephen Ireland makes it totally super official that he will not be playing for Trappatoni's Ireland squad. We've discussed Stephen Ireland here before and his story still fascinates me. Because rumors are that the real reason he left the national team was on account of . . . being ridiculed by his teammates for his hair plugs/wig/transplant/toup. Who can say if it's true, but if it is, that's just about the funniest thing you'll ever hear.
Remember when footballers didn't give a poop about thinning hair?